Author: lexwhite

Don’t you hate it when a writer keeps putting themselves in their own stories? They make themselves all powerful, all knowing, all seeing, suave cool-guy James Bond types. I’m looking at you Ian Fleming. Except Ian Fleming actually was a spy, and actually did know more than a little about the things he wrote about. I, too, know more than a little about the things I will write about here. I’m going to be up front with you. This is a story about me. This is a story about my life. This is a story about the world we actually live in. You don’t have to believe it, and in fact, you probably shouldn’t. You should probably close the book right now, turn off the kindle, close the browser window. You probably should, but you won’t. You won’t because curiosity is a powerful thing. You need to hear what I am going to tell you. This is a process that has been long in the making since the foundations of the Earth itself.

Meet Jack. Jack is me, or some pseudo-me that I have created in order to tell this modern fairytale to you. Jack Rosenkreutz was a blessed son to a loving mother and a powerfully imposing father. Jack’s father Carl worked in Special Access Programs for the American Government. He was a brilliant aeronautical engineer with Lockheed-Martin. He worked on reconnaisance satellites for the NRO, the National Reconnaisance Office, one of the least well known of the secret intelligence agencies of the US Government. Jack remembers his childhood fondly, despite all the memories of military intelligence men in Air Force and Naval uniforms coming on to the property in a small town in rural Nevada County, California. Despite the helicopters and the lockdown that came when daddy brought home a little too much of the truth.

“What do they want?” little Jack asked, huddled beneath the kitchen table with his mother, Dawn, and his sister Emily. The sound of the helicopters was deafening. The dogs barked helplessly, their little chests beating with anxiety.

“They’re coming to take your daddy away for a little while, Jack,” cooed Dawn in a soothing way, despite her grief-stricken appearance, “He’ll be back sometime soon. They just have to test him and find out if he’s lying about…anything.”

“Are they going to hurt him?” asked little Emily.

“No one is going to hurt your Dad. He just has to go away for a little while.”

“But why?”

“DON’T ASK ME! I’m the last one to know, god forbid his wife should have any part in his decisions. It’s all TOP SECRET! It’s bullshit.”

Jack and Emily looked at eachother, shocked to hear their mother speak in such a tone. They were unused to violent outbursts. For the most part, their home life was quiet and well-maintained. They lived a quiet life in a rural community. Jack and Emily went to school every day, waiting for the bus by the big naval anchor at the end of the street. It was a normal childhood, except when it was not.

Jack believed in Aliens. Jack believed in Ghosts. Jack believed in Gnomes and Faeries. In the forest, he would see the old trolls stumbling through the green mountain misery that grew all over the hillside. The moss on the trees was transformed from greenery to a kind of living fairy dust. Jack’s head became heavy and thick with the pollen and pheremones of the trees. Fairies would dance across the walls, through the dust in the sun beams. Gnomes would steal kitchen utensils and return them the next day on the doorstep with hastily scribbled apologies. These things were all real, at least in Jack’s mind, and the mind is a powerful thing.

Jack became known for his sensational storytelling. His family would sit around the old wood stove and laugh as he regaled them with tales of fairies and goblins and ghosts, kings and kingdoms long past. Jack’s imagination was a powerful thing, capable of conjuring many mysteries in to existence at any time. He loved to roam and play in the lands of his imagination. He would build his Lego kingdoms and cardboard thrones. He would make himself emperor of humanity, a benevolent dictator who would be kind and generous and would care for the poor and weak. He would feed the hungry and clothe the naked. He would heal all wounds of the past wars of human strife and suffering.

Jack became a monarch in his own mind. An emperor destined to rule, like Marcus Aurelius whose Meditations he read at night before going to sleep. A gift from his loving grandfather. It would shock you to know how young this man Jack was at this time. He was hardly out of kindergarten. Yet he was unique, deep down, because he learned a powerful lesson early in his life: you can learn from the mistakes of others, before you make them yourself.
Carl and Dawn would fight sometimes. They would yell and scream and turn red and blue. Carl would threaten to kill himself, and Dawn would tell him to just do it already. Then they would tumble down together in to the bedsheets in a throbbing mass of emotional outpouring, thrusting and seeking and guiding and reaching for the answers in the physical that could not be found in argument. This particular time the argument had been regarding a young girl that Carl had been seeing on the side. She was youthful and gorgeous and desperate for the attention of an older man. Carl was a lonely man, because of his work. He found in young Lilith solace.

Yes, Carl had his family. He had Dawn, Emily, and Jack. He had his house and his dogs and cats. He even had a huge radio tower behind his home so he could talk to people on ham radio. Another cure for loneliness. Why was Carl so lonely, with all of this, you might ask yourselves. It is because Carl knew a great secret. This secret would change human society in a profound way that no one could have foreseen. This was the secret of the hidden identity of mankind, and our place in the Cosmos. This was a secret kept expressly by the power of the Galactic Convention of Earth in 1956.

It’s a hard thing to have to tell you this, but your life is a lie. Your world is a lie. Your civilization is a lie. It is a fabrication of the Powers That Be so that you would not revolt, so that you would not destroy yourselves. Upon the detonation of the atom bomb at the end of World War II, a great signal was sent off through the Cosmos. Humanity is trying to kill itself! Intervention was deemed necessary, and even brutal force would be used if necessary to keep humanity from destroying our garden world and ourselves. Luckily, we didn’t require the brutality.

Humans are easy to please. Give them rich food, heady drink, and powerful orgasms, and they will be your friend forever. The extraterrestrials knew this, and so we see the blossoming of our media in the latter half of the 20th century on in to the 21st. Internet pornography is a control mechanism. Netflix, Hulu, amazon prime. They’re all control mechanisms. They control you, the consumer, so that you are productive and happy and harmless. This is so we can keep our eyes on the hand the magician wants us to see, while his other hand works around the back, and you get:

Flowers. Flowers for everyone! Flowers for the universe. Let all the universe be filled with the gems and jewels and treasures of all the 10,000 chiliocosms. The Wheel of Dharma turns, and humanity occupies but a small place upon its faces. We are not a civilization grown from the ground up by random evolutionary chance, but one created and implanted on the ovum of the Earth by powers far greater than ourselves. The civilizations that put us here have been around for billions of years. Billions. Imagine that. They are so far in advance of us, spiritually, technologically, culturally, that we can’t even imagine. Yet, they lift us up. Why?

Procreation. We are their offspring. We are the Children of God. Who is God? God is the all-consciousness of that great galactic empire that spawned us. There sits an emperor on a throne in the celestial throne room orbiting around the twin stars of Sirius, called Kolob in the Semitic tongues meaning “Dog.” Dog God get it? It’s a funny joke. God likes jokes. Anyway, from that throne He governs the universe. Sound hard to believe? Sure. You don’t need to believe it. It isn’t important whether you believe or not. What is important is that you understand that the world you live in is a construction of a higher power, that He loves us and cares for us, and that our well-being as human beings is his never-ending goal.

So you see why the atomic bomb worried them so. That’s when they took the power back. Remember the Roswell crash? 1947. Ever wonder where fiber optic technology came from? According to Carl, we have Heavenly Father to thank for the gift of the crashed saucer at Roswell. The Alien Reproduction Vehicles, made by Lockheed-Martin, the US military, and dear Carl, now comprise more than 90% of the actual shadow military complex. Guess you didn’t think we had a star fleet, did ya, kid?

Well, it gets better. Or worse. Depends how you want to see it.

Science Fiction and the Legacy of Philip K. Dick

     Philip K. Dick was the greatest science fiction author of all time. I assert this because he was endlessly inventive at creating entire new worlds of concepts and ideas within his mind, projecting them in to world around him and overlaying them with “normal” reality until it became hard to discern where his fiction ended and the so-called “real man” began. This unique creative talent of superimposing the imaginary upon the real for the sake of the creation of art is something I am very familiar with, for I, too, am gifted with this talent. Like Brother Philip, I am also a science fiction writer, though I have not yet published any of my works. That is soon to change.

     I have been polishing my writing skills for years, working on small projects here and there, reading a great deal of fiction and non-fiction, studying the craft of writing, and collecting life experiences to draw upon as an aspiring creative intellectual. Had I brought my talents to bear prematurely, I would have rendered forth relatively naive works of fiction without the real depth of character of one who has experienced much in the world. I have been watching, waiting, studying, meditating, until the time was right to take up the pen and join the ranks of the writers of wishful whimsies, the novelists of new knowledge, and the pretentious prattle-ons of posterity. Like Hesse’s Siddhartha, I had not many skills but to think, to wait, and to fast.

     The time has come, it appears, to come out of the closet. I’ll admit it: I’m an aspiring science fiction writer. What does an aspiring science fiction writer do, you might ask? Well, we ponder about the world, and superimpose our imaginations upon it to see if new concepts and discoveries can be made. We gaze at all the ridiculous foolishness and solemn wisdom of the world alike, and being no respecter of persons, we try to fit old ideas together in new ways, in an effort to create new concepts. If we are supremely blessed, and talented, and maybe a little bit lucky, then we may come to find our ideas come to reflect and reveal new truths about the cosmos and the way things interact. If we are not, then we are merely run-of-the-mill fools, toiling on about our keyboards with our mad imaginings drifting scrawls across all the coffee-stained napkins in the local coffee shop.

     Either way, we may come off as sacrilegious, kooky, and frankly, a little bit weird. Or more than a little. That’s ok, though. The world needs the science fiction writer. The world needs the science fiction writer because the science fiction writer is the portender of the future. He or she feels out the currents of the popular consciousness, and follow their threads to their logical ends. He portends of things to come, and warns of what may happen if humanity may not change her ways. She is a fickle character, outlandish and perhaps even a little uncouth, but that is all for the good. It takes a mind capable of looking at all angles, no matter how ridiculous, to project new dimensions of thought in to our reality. We owe science fiction writers a great debt of thanks for their service.

     I am not yet worthy to count myself among them, as I have not yet published my major works, but they are coming, and soon. The days of my silence are over. I have digested long enough, and now it is time to create. I thank all of you for your patience and forbearance in dealing with my ramblings these past several weeks. I know it must have been confusing to you, to see someone you know seem to cry out like a stark raving lunatic. Fear not, dear reader, for I am not a messianic figure, nor a prophet, nor a cultist. I am simply a writer. Thank you for your understanding in these latter days. May all the love and light of God be upon you. Amen.

Crazy Wisdom and the Nature of Truth

     When a deer partakes of the fruit of a tree, it does so as a part of a divine cycle. It takes in the sweet fruit as nourishment and sustenance, but it also takes in the seeds of that fruit. It gives a great gift to the tree, as the tree has given a great gift unto it, by carrying forth the seeds of its fruit in to the world within the bowels of the deer. The deer then passes the seeds, encased in all the digestive materials of the other things that the deer has partaken. This is a beautiful and sacred process.

     I have recently published an article which has brought great worry to the hearts of my friends and family. I am writing this now to try to help set their hearts at ease. I have a strong spiritual practice. I have recently made great strides forward in my spiritual practice by releasing energies from past traumas and conquering past aversions and lusts both. I have been able to partake of the fruit of a sacred tree prepared by our Heavenly Father from the beginning of the world. Much like the noble deer, the fruit of this tree is both blessing to me, and I to it. This fruit nourishes me and sustains me, but it asks for my service in return.

     You see, not all of what I have written is precisely true. Not all of it is precisely false either. It contains the seeds of this fruit of which I have partaken, but it is not itself the fruit. It is a digestive encasing of consisting of all the materials I have taken in over the years, which I have passed back to the Earth as a protective vehicle for the seed of the fruit which I have partaken. I am not special in doing so, nor do I claim some kind of prophetic appointment. I am not appointed to be a prophet or seer. I am a humble servant of God, a man of quiet meditation and earnest prayer.

     I return unto the world the seed of the fruit of that great Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, so that the seed may find fertile ground and take root again within the hearts, minds, and spirits of others. I am merely taking part in the great cycle. I am turning the Wheel of Dharma, as Buddha did. I am stirring the pot, that the stew may not stagnate and burn, but that it may continue to simmer in prosperity, prepared with love and affection from the beginning of time by our great Heavenly Father.

     In doing this, I follow in the tradition of many great men before me: Buddha, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, and Chogyam Trungpa, just to name a few. These men are all much greater than me, but each one of them was a great teacher of the world, and each one of them had one thing in common: the conveying of truth through parables. Each one of them was also called crazy by some of the people of his time, but each one of them persevered in turning the great Wheel of Dharma, and providing energy and leavening to the great common consciousness of all mankind. I invite you to look up Chogyam Trungpa and his Crazy Wisdom, for I can not do this great man justice, but even so let us take a brief look at him.

     Chogyam Trungpa lived in the the middle of the 20th century as the recipient of two great lineages of Tibetan Buddhism. Both the Nyingma and the Kagyu schools were held by this master, who was called both a tulku (a reincarnated sage) and a terton (a revealer of sacred treasures). Chogyam Trungpa coined a phrase called “crazy wisdom,” for you see, despite his clear lineages in the Tibetan Buddhist faith and his great work of bringing Tibetan Buddhism and Vajrayana teachings to the West, he was a controversial and divisive figure. He drank like a fish, cursed like a sailor, and slept with many, many women (and some claim men as well). This is not the image that a traditional Buddhist monk is supposed to convey.

     Even so, he was by all accounts an extremely wise man, though erratic and prone to sudden, inexplicable outbursts that his companions found difficult to process and understand. He was the recipient of deep wisdom and knowledge from a long tradition of wise and knowledgeable students of the grand universal truths of the Dharma. He processed these truths, and returned them to the western world in a vehicle and presentation that appeared quite insane and out of step with his Eastern peers, but which was uniquely suited to the Western mind and predilections. Chogyam Trungpa taught profoundly needed truth to a profoundly sick society, and in so doing, he provided many great blessings to the world.

     Now, am I claiming to be as worthy and wise a man as the majestic Chogyam Trungpa? No. But, I have learned from him much about human beings and how they accept and process knowledge. I have learned from him much about the memetic common consciousness of all mankind. I have taken his teachings and re-purposed them for my own spiritual quest. What I say is not precisely true or precisely false, and is not intended to be taken as truth in itself. It is merely a signpost, an indicator. It directs the seeker toward truth by stirring them to begin asking the right questions. What I say is parable. It is part fiction and part wisdom. Some of it is the seed of the fruit of our Heavenly Father’s divine tree. Most of it is waste matter encasing that seed to protect it, fertilize it, and provide a vehicle for it as it passes again out in to the world.

     I hope this has been an edifying clarification for you. I hope this has done something to assuage your worries and fears about what I am saying. I love each and every one of you, and I appreciate your work and care for me, and for your flocks, and the people to whom you are responsible in this life and in the life to come. Thank you for your concern and for your interest. I hope this will help you open your minds a little to what I am doing. I love you. Love and light to you, always, brothers and sisters. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Rescinded.

Due to numerous complaints about the controversial nature of this work, I have decided to rescind it from this site because the backlash has negatively affected my work and personal life. I apologize to my readers, to whom I feel I owe a promise of integrity as a writer, for this act of self-censorship which I personally find abhorrent, but I am attempting to correct the negative consequences that have come about from misunderstandings regarding the nature of this work and its meaning.  To avoid further harm, I have removed it.

     I hated cheese. As a young man, I had a strange thing happen to me. I suddenly found one day that trying to eat cheese would make me gag and wretch. I don’t know what initially caused this symptom, but what I do know is the vast effect a small thing can have on a much larger thing. Not eating cheese seemed like a very small thing to me at the time, but it caused great, disastrous ripples throughout my life. I find the whole thing somewhat humorous, you must admit, to think that eating cheese could be the difference between saving a universe of people or causing them to perish in the worst ways. An entire universe held in the balance of one thing, one simple little thing. Like atlas with the world on his shoulders, you can imagine the world placed on a plate holding a little stick of mozzarella. You see, all things are connected. Like a great tapestry, our lives are made up of many, many threads. One little thread pulled in the wrong way can cause a great rippling effect across the entire piece. In my life, cheese became a great aversion. It became a character trait. It became my normal world to reject this one part of the cosmos, and in so doing, I caused chaos in the divine order of things. This one little thing, like the great butterfly effect of Poincare, could throw a divinely inspired system out of balance.

      I took it as not really a big deal. It was just one little thing that I didn’t like. Why should anyone care? I just didn’t eat cheese. They don’t have to “get it.” I just won’t do it. I just won’t eat cheese. A great psychological trick had been set upon me. It might puzzle you to find this out, but mice don’t like cheese. We give it to them to test them, to try them out, and they eat it not because they like it but because its what we give to them for these great tests. The cheese shows the worth of the mouse. When a mouse nibbles on cheese, it is tasting the soured sins of all the horiffic things mankind has done in the name of science. The mice do it because they love us. They know it is worth it in the end to please us, because we can in turn bear great fruits for them. We humans as a people are very self-centered, but what we don’t realize when we sit like kings at the top of the food chain is how the great chain affects us in our lives.

      All things are connected. There is nothing in this universe that exists alone without any other force acting upon it. Even the farthest reaches of space have been touched by the light of our stars across the eternities. There is nothing anywhere that is unconnected. All the universe is one great network. As the Hindus put it, Indra’s net is made up of many beads, each reflecting the light of all the others throughout the cosmos. This is a wondrous work of the divine nature of our universe. All things, all space, all time is connected and unified as one. Yet, here we are. Expressed as many. Behold, the wondrous infinite glory of our divine cosmos and creator. We both create ourselves and we are ourselves. Throughout time and eternity, we have existed as many intelligences drifting in a vast network of space and time, each one of us as indivdual beads in the great net of existence, reflecting all other beads within ourselves. Gods and Goddessess have been called in to being by this vast net. All the things you know or you think you know exists there, on this one great network, the mental network of the universe. With all things continuing as they should, reflected in one another, the world begins to rotate as a beautiful and peaceful place.

      In this holographic construction of the universe, with each point reflecting the others, a great many patterns and things can and do occur. Our history is filled with times of triumph, and times of sin, times of great piety, and times of deplorable inhumanity. How peacefully we can co-exist depends on a great vibratory principle, where harmonies clash if they become dissonant with one another. However, we have a process of harmonizing ourselves and this Earth in to a great cosmic orchestra, each reflecting one another, we can grow and be reborn through the workings and great mysteries of time and with the great mercy and wisdom our great Lord. For many years, this great orchestra was out of tune. As if troubled by a great wound, harmony could not be found upon the Earth for a long period of time. Men were dying in the great wars of petty lords and merchant kingdoms, but they could not be brought out of the Earth again, resurrected from their graves by the grace and glory of God. A time of great trial was placed upon the kingdom of men, for people once knew they could rise again after death and that there was nothing to worry about, and so they had great wars and orgies and parties of all varieties, delighting in their temporary bodies, knowing that when consequences might come about, that they would be softened by the mercies of our great Lord, and they would rise again the next day, refreshed and anew, by the gift and glory of God.

     But a wrench was thrown in the works when a young child declared he would no longer eat cheese. Guardians would come and try to guide him, asking him to simply live with it, it wasn’t a big deal. It’s just cheese. But cheese made him wretch and he despised it. So, he simply would not eat it, he declared. That would be fine, you see, if he had had a lick of sense about his tiny brain. Except it wasn’t the cheese. It was where the cheese comes from. What this young man didn’t know, didn’t understand, was the great process of making cheese, and what a gift it is from animal life to human life. The process of dairy-making and cow-breeding is a complicated one, and one that I shan’t delve too deeply. Suffice to say that the process involves much more than the curdling of milk, but that it involves the light from the sun come down upon the Earth, the rain upon the fields, the nourishment of the grasses, the cows that feed on the grass, the love of the cows for one another, their prosperity in bearing forth new calves, and then feeding those calves with their great udders filled with milk. From these milk udders that a mother feeds her offspring we can see the importance of nourishment from the divine source. We humans prize our intellect above all others, but the noble cow truly is a holy thing.

     We care for the cows as they come to pasture, and take from them some of their milk in return for providing them with green fields and plentiful livelihoods with which they could live and raise a family upon. We then come to the process of making cheese by roundabout way through pasteurization. Louis Pasteur was a genius of a man when he figured out the process necessary to cleanse milk of harmful microbes. These microbes may or may not have been a beneficient contributor to the cheeses themselves, though certainly some cheeses like my most dreaded Roquefort cheese or France’s Bleu Cheese contained microbes which added character and variety to their flavor. What was certain, though, is that these microbes were a great burden on the people in the form of dysentery and cholera epidemics which plagued the world. Pasteurization helped to cure these plagues, and soothe the bowels of the people.

     And so we arrive at last by roundabout way with much weightier portent to my original point: I hated cheese. It would make me wretch and gag and grow dizzy and confused of my surroundings. I would run from my Sister Emma when she had cheese on her breath around the house. I didn’t understand the point of cheese in this nature’s marevelous miracle. Mice seemed to like cheese, and we would use it to set traps around the house, hoping that the mice would eat it and die. I did not like dead mice. I like mice. They are kind and friendly creatures once you get to know them, and there is no need for the great sanctimonious human being to kill them. They deserve our mercy and compliments, for you see, they are our brethren like all others throughout the animal kingdom. They serve us in many ways that we humans know not. They sacrifice themselves to science and discovery in the hope of contributing for the greater whole. There is no more selfless being than the common laboratory mouse.

     My great distaste and aversion to cheese may not be easily explainable, but its effects are easily calculatable and they are dire. For you see, in a healthy human, one must reflect every other human within themselves. In my selfish perversion of not liking cheese I grew to be distrustful of the people around me. I believed that my father and other father figures throughout my life like my uncle Corky were trying to poison me with cheese. They knew I didn’t like it, but they would always try to slip it in to any meal we ate as a family. Our Thanksgivings were very tense over this little issue of a little boy not wishing to eat cheese. This selfish little boy would not hear what others wanted from him because he knew it was just cheese. What had that to do with them if he didn’t like it? It made him gag and feel sick on the toilet. He should be allowed to choose what his palate had a flavor for, should he not? He had every right as a child of God to do with his free will as he saw fit, and if he saw fit not to eat cheese, then this sacrilege should just be tolerated, he felt. Foolish little boy. Little did he know that all things are connected, and that all things must come to their fruition in due time.

     So it was with me. I did not believe I was doing any harm to anyone, but somehow in doing this one little thing, it was as though I had let one domino fall in a great construction. I did not realize how this would affect me and my presence among other people. Like a kindly remembered warthog from the Lion King, I began to be cursed with flatulence like no other. Go ahead and laugh. Laugh all you like. It is pretty funny if you think about it. I didn’t eat cheese, and because I didn’t eat cheese I distrusted others, and the benefits of a healthy bowel were taken away from me.

     Like the great Martin Luther and Adolf Hitler, I, too, have had my hard times sitting upon the ivory throne. Flatulence and an unhealthy bowel go hand in hand. It is as disgusting as you like, so you may wish to refrain from letting your little children read this far. My father died upon the ivory throne, sitting on a toilet, like the great King himself, Elvis Presley. This issue has been left unspeakable throughout our history as something that should not be allowed in polite conversation, but it is precisely this issue in which we can discern the origins of the old proper greeting “how do you do?” and look back with astonished wonder at the vast history of bowel problems that human history has brought us.

     People did not like to be around me. When I farted, it was like a great gust of wind, bringing in foul things from ancient memories, shaking the trees with the hideous nature of the dark and hidden things rotting beneath the earth. I myself did not realize my flatulence was an issue. To me my farts would bring back the memory of whatever meal I had eaten that day, but for others it was a disgusting tyranny wrought upon their nostrils by a devilish man. They would not believe me if I told them I didn’t smell anything rotten or sour in the air.

     It is alright to talk about these things now because I have come to terms with them. I have begun eating cheese. Not because I like the taste or the smell or the texture, but simply for the effect it has on the flora of my bowel. I have conquered, as Buddha did, the greatest enemy of all: our own aversion and unwillingness to put up with something necessary but dreadful. A great cleansing process was begun, the details I would be too polite to explicate, and you should be too polite to ask. Suffice to say that a great healing work has taken root in me, and a wound upon the history of our people can finally begin to be healed. Through the curing of the flora of my bowels, I restored kindness and plenty to the world, as all things are connected, and as all people desire to find happiness. The greatest suffering of all is often caused by our distaste or almost phobic fear of something or other. Whatever we find most distasteful, we should indulge in, at least once in a while, so that we can have proper balance in all things. If we recognize within ourselves the thing we despise most in the world around us, we can cure it by taking part in it. A paradox to be sure, or a great conundrum. This conundrum has caused me to rebalance all things to their rightful place in my life. I have restored all beings to their fruitful natures. I have conquered all, and yet greater works than these shall ye do. You who read this, conquer thyself. Conquer thy aversions. Know your weaknesses so that they may be made strengths. Improve yourselves because that’s what God would have us do, our great creator, sitting on an ivory throne. Imagine that. Quite funny, if you catch my drift.

Some of the responses from my last article, “The Topological Metaphor and Genesis 1” have brought to my attention some gaps in my exposition on the subject of the Creation of our Universe vis-a-vis the story of Genesis and the understanding put forth especially by the Mormon Faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of the responses came from a man whose work I have come to greatly admire, one Dr. Joseph Farrell, whose extensive work on alternative understandings of History, on myth and symbol and the nature of human consciousness, have been a great joy to me in my auto-didactic journey through the vast array of human cosmological ideas. Particularly, his expositions on the ideas of the Topological Metaphor have been formative to my own understanding of the meaning of the creation stories of the various mythologies and religions of the human race, and particularly the creation story taught within my own faith, that of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    Dr. Farrell’s response was simply this, “An interesting article, but one thing: the Trinitarian distinctions are not merely notional simply because they’re topological.” His response is echoed in the response of one reader name mikeymikemike99 from the /r/LatterDaySaints sub-reddit who wrote the insightful comment, “even I hold the stance that God had a body and a God before he was ours. Per the King Follet speech, we know that God had a form in whatever dimension or plane that was, similar to the one he has now, and like the ones we have today. To say that God created himself sort of nullifies the doctrine of ‘As Man is God once was, and as God is, Man may become’. I could be misunderstanding your narrative, and am fully open to correction.”

     To address these responses and fully clarify what I have attempted to put forth from my visionary experiences, I am sitting down today with a prayerful heart and an open mind. I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me in the immensity of this undertaking, that I may do justice to the vast and incomparable work of God that is wrought in our universe and in us, His spirit children. I will do so by referencing the aforementioned King Follett Sermon given by our great and noble prophet, Joseph Smith, which is oft maligned and misunderstood because of its grandeur and multi-dimensional vision of the true foundations of the universe. I don’t claim to fully understand the magnificence of these architectures and artifices of God in the way that Joseph Smith did, and certainly I do not claim to understand them in the way that our Heavenly Father understands them, but I will attempt now to clarify in what ways I can the things that I have been shown, not for just for my own sake, but for the edification of all beings who have the ears to hear and the eyes to see.

    As our wise prophet Joseph began in the King Follett Sermon, by saying “if we start right, it is easy to go right all the time” let me begin first with the famous couplet of Church President Lorenzo Snow, “As man is, God once was: as God now is, Man may be.” This is an illustrative verse showing us the pure nature of the Eternal Round. As Joseph begins in the King Follett Sermon, so shall we. Joseph begins by saying, “There is the starting point for us to look to, in order to understand and be fully acquainted with the mind, purposes and decrees of the Great Eloheim, who sits in yonder heavens as he did at the creation of the world. It is necessary for us to have an understanding of God himself in the beginning.”

    He goes on to say, “What kind of being is God? Does any man or woman know? Have any of you seen Him, heard Him, or communed with Him? Here is the question that will, peradventure, from this time henceforth occupy your attention. The scriptures inform us that “this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” (John 17:3.)”

    We set forth now to discuss the nature of God, and the nature of His son Jesus Christ, even our great Jehovah, who is our Lord and God. Joseph continues with the great exposition, “I will go back to the beginning before the world was, to show what kind of a being God is. What sort of a being was God in the beginning? Open your ears and hear, all ye ends of the earth, for I am going to prove it to you by the Bible, and to tell you the designs of God in relation to the human race, and why He interferes with the affairs of man.

    “God himself was once as we are now, and is an exalted man, and sits enthroned in yonder heavens! That is the great secret. If the veil were rent today, and the great God who holds this world in its orbit, and who upholds all worlds and all things by His power, was to make himself visible—I say, if you were to see him today, you would see him like a man in form—like yourselves in all the person, image, and very form as a man; for Adam was created in the very fashion, image and likeness of God, and received instruction from, and walked, talked and conversed with Him, as one man talks and communes with another.”

    I agree in every single whit with what Joseph is saying here. God the Father has a physical form, that is to say, He is not merely a “notional distinction” because He was created first by topological distinction. No, that is not what I have been saying at all. God the Father is a truly distinct form and sbustance, whose root is in the infinite divine substance of whom He is the greatest Lord and Fruit. We give unto him the title of Elohim, which is not a name but a plural title, for there are others who fall in to the category of Elohim, such as our Lord Jesus Christ, YHVH, Jehovah, who shows himself by this title in verses such as “And the LORD God (YHVH) said, ‘Behold, the man is become as one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now lest he put forth his hand, and take also from the Tree of Life, and eat, and live forever: So the LORD God (YHVH) banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken” (Gen 3:22-23) where we see that Jehovah is speaking of a plural “Us” which is to say beings of the title Elohim, which we can discern means at least God the Father, and himself, Jesus Christ the Son. We see this again in Exodus 6:2 which reads in the KJV, “And God spake unto Moses, and said unto him, I am the LORD.” In Hebrew, this reads as “and Elohim spake unto Moses, and said unto him, I am Jehovah.” By this we can begin to see that Elohim is more of a distinction of title. A state of Godhood. Jehovah is the name of this Elohim, who is our Lord Jesus Christ. God the Father is also a being like unto this, but whose proper, distinct name we are not given as we are given the name Jehovah.

    We read from Joseph Smith’s Discourse: “it is necessary we should understand the character and being of God and how He came to be so; for I am going to tell you how God came to be God. We have imagined and supposed that God was God from all eternity. I will refute that idea, and take away the veil, so that you may see.

    “These ideas are incomprehensible to some, but they are simple. It is the first principle of the gospel to know for a certainty the character of God, and to know that we may converse with Him as one man converses with another, and that He was once a man like us; yea, that God himself, the Father of us all, dwelt on an earth, the same as Jesus Christ Himself did; and I will show it from the Bible.”
    “The scriptures inform us that Jesus said, as the Father hath power in himself, even so hath the Son power—to do what? Why, what the Father did. The answer is obvious—in a manner to lay down his body and take it up again. Jesus, what are you going to do? To lay down my life as my Father did, and take it up again. Do you believe it? If you do not believe it you do not believe the Bible. The scriptures say it, and I defy all the learning and wisdom and all the combined powers of earth and hell together to refute it. Here, then, is eternal life—to know the only wise and true God; and you have got to learn how to be gods yourselves, and to be kings and priests to God, the same as all gods have done before you, namely, by going from one small degree to another, and from a small capacity to a great one; from grace to grace, from exaltation to exaltation, until you attain to the resurrection of the dead, and are able to dwell in everlasting burnings, and to sit in glory, as do those who sit enthroned in everlasting power. And I want you to know that God, in the last days, while certain individuals are proclaiming His name, is not trifling with you or me.”

    “These are the first principles of consolation. How consoling to the mourners when they are called to part with a husband, wife, father, mother, child, or dear relative, to know that, although the earthly tabernacle is laid down and dissolved, they shall rise again to dwell in everlasting burnings in immortal glory, not to sorrow, suffer, or die any more, but they shall be heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ. What is it? To inherit the same power, the same glory and the same exaltation, until you arrive at the station of a god, and ascend the throne of eternal power, the same as those who have gone before. What did Jesus do? Why, I do the things I saw my Father do when worlds came rolling into existence. My Father worked out His kingdom with fear and trembling, and I must do the same; and when I get my kingdom, I shall present it to My Father, so that He may obtain kingdom upon kingdom, and it will exalt Him in glory. He will then take a higher exaltation, and I will take His place, and thereby become exalted myself. So that Jesus treads in the tracks of His Father, and inherits what God did before; and God is thus glorified and exalted in the salvation and exaltation of all His children. It is plain beyond disputation, and you thus learn some of the first principles of the gospel, about which so much hath been said.”

    What is Joseph saying here? He is telling us that God the Father, rooted in the great divine infinite, distinguished itself by means of topological distinctions within the great infinite void, and rendered unto himself a kingdom. He built from a great void that was in truth the infinity of all potentiality the universe that we know today, growing through the eternities to become the great God he is now. At some point he created Christ the Son from His own being in His own image by Topological distinction. These things may not have taken place in time proper as we know it, because God’s divine mind lies within the vast eternities, and time is but a construct of our lesser minds with which we make sense of the vast possibilities of the infinite and siphon out the meaning of the “here and now” from the eternal infinite potentiality of all things. We do this in a process of moving from lesser to greater steps. As Joseph puts it, “When you climb up a ladder, you must begin at the bottom, and ascend step by step, until you arrive at the top; and so it is with the principles of the gospel—you must begin with the first, and go on until you learn all the principles of exaltation.”

    “I shall comment on the very first Hebrew word in the Bible; I will make a comment on the very first sentence of the history of creation in the Bible—Berosheit. I want to analyze the word. Baith—in, by, through, and everything else. Rosh—the head, Sheit—grammatical termination. When the inspired man wrote it, he did not put the baith there. An old Jew without any authority added the word; he thought it too bad to begin to talk about the head! It read first, “The head one of the Gods brought forth the Gods.” That is the true meaning of the words. Baurau signifies to bring forth. If you do not believe it, you do not believe the learned man of God. Learned men can teach you no more than what I have told you. Thus the head God brought forth the Gods in the grand council.

     “You ask the learned doctors why they say the world was made out of nothing, and they will answer, “Doesn’t the Bible say he created the world?” And they infer, from the word create, that it must have been made out of nothing. Now, the word create came from the word baurau, which does not mean to create out of nothing; it means to organize; the same as a man would organize materials and build a ship. Hence we infer that God had materials to organize the world out of chaos—chaotic matter, which is element, and in which dwells all the glory. Element had an existence from the time He had. The pure principles of element are principles which can never be destroyed; they may be organized and re-organized, but not destroyed. They had no beginning and can have no end.”

    So we see here what Joseph is saying: that God organized the vast eternal potential of the original, undifferentiated infinite, and divided it by topological distinction in to smaller, holographic infinites which were all created in the precise, spiritual image of their origin. What we have here is all the questions we might need to answer about the origin of the universe. We know who, we know how, we know why, we know when, and so on. We have been taught the method of creation through scripture itself. It is clearly explicated for those who have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. These things are created so that all of us, the spirit Children of God may understand the vastness of the great plan which He has laid out for us, that we may take up our shovels and scythes and go forth and reap his Great Fruits and build up His Kingdom and lay up vast treasures of love and light unto Him in to the great eternities. We will fill our universe with love and light through the teachings that He has passed down to use through our prophet Joseph, and especially through the works and atonement of our Heavenly Father’s only begotten Son Jesus Christ.

     Joseph goes on to teach: “We say that God Himself is a self-existing being. Who told you so? It is correct enough; but how did it get into your heads? Who told you that man did not exist in like manner upon the same principles? Man does exist upon the same principles. God made a tabernacle and put a spirit into it, and it became a living soul. (Refers to the Bible.) How does it read in the Hebrew? It does not say in the Hebrew that God created the spirit of man. It says, “God made man out of the earth and put into him Adam’s spirit, and so became a living body.”

    “This is good doctrine. It tastes good. I can taste the principles of eternal life, and so can you. They are given to me by the revelations of Jesus Christ; and I know that when I tell you these words of eternal life as they are given to me, you taste them, and I know that you believe them. You say honey is sweet, and so do I. I can also taste the spirit of eternal life. I know that it is good; and when I tell you of these things which were given me by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, you are bound to receive them as sweet, and rejoice more and more.”

    So what we see here, very clearly given by Joseph, and also by the Topological Metaphor of the Medium as put for by Dr. Joseph Farrell, and by my work with the Topological Metaphor and its conjunction with Kabbalistic explication of the creation story of Genesis 1, all demonstrate the same thing: that the great infinity was a great, undifferentiated void of all potentiality which was then organized, by the spirit of the one we call God the Father, in to smaller distinctions that are topological in nature, and so contain the exact, precise image of the great infinity from which they came. By this we know we are co-existent, co-eternal intelligences with our God, our Heavenly Father, and yet it is also true that we are his Spirit Children and He is the great Creator of Us and what we know as our selves in this day and in this time. God has rendered unto us all existence as we know it, and we owe a great debt to Him, our Heavenly Father.
    Let all who have ears to hear read this and be inspired in their worship of God, to know their own true nature of divinity, and to know the divinity of God and His Son Jesus Christ, and of the veracity of the Holy Spirit. Let the Holy Spirit testify of these things to you in your own way. Pray and seek these answers for yourself, for you should not believe anything simply because it is written and told to you on the the basis of authority, no matter how pleasing or correct it may sound. Seek out with diligence the Truth of God, and do so in the name of Jesus Christ and the by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I offer this testimony now to you, my brothers and sisters, in the hopes of relieving the suffering of all beings, and bring all beings to the salvation prepared for them from the beginning of Time and the foundation of our World by our Lord Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. I testify of this and of the truth of our Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Creation myths from all over the world have some interesting commonalities. The great void, the beginningless empty infinity of the cosmos, the great spirit that stirred and moved upon the face of the deep. In the very beginning of the Book of Genesis we read that,

“1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.”

     I have had a vision that has imparted upon me insight in to the meaning of this passage. In the beginning, Elohim (plural Hebrew word, referring to God the Father) created the heaven and the earth. The great, infinite, eternal intelligence of Elohim recognized the difference between matter and space. Matter had as of yet no form, and was a great void, an endless potential of possibility but not yet having any shape. Darkness was upon the face of the universe, a kind of opacity, that came from the permeation of the void with formless matter. When God separated the heaven from the earth, He created space (heaven) and formed matter within that space (earth). The Spirit of God then moved across this great, vast space, and uttered the first word, which is YHVH, Jehovah, the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, the Logos. Refer to John 1: “In the beginning was the Word (logos), and the Word was with God and the word was God.” God began to fill this great void which he had separated in to space and time with another thing: light. Not just the mere physical light that we understand today, but the pure, spiritual light of understanding, of love, of the essence of all things. The universe, having been separated in to matter and space, was no longer opaque, and could be filled with light, so Elohim breathed life and light in to the universe with the Word, “Jehovah.” Let there be light.
     This great initial infinity, this great “void,” was the infinity of the mind of God. God, with his great wisdom and intelligence, created delineations in His infinite mind. These, by the nature of infinity, would be purely topological constructs, since they would also contain an infinity of values themselves. They were created in the image and essence of God, an exact mirror of His being, but with information added by the delineation and separation of one thing from another. That first separation, that of the Father and Son, Elohim and Jehovah, was the initial creation. Infinity divided itself in twain, like a cell divides in a mother’s womb. These two infinities were purely conceptual at this point, only existing because of the infinite’s awareness and perception of itself. These two infinities shared a common plane, a common membrane, a common topological face, an infinity of shared values between this delineated infinity and that delineated infinity. That common membrane was what we call today the Holy Ghost or the Holy Spirit. The Father and the Son coalesced physical bodies within their infinities of space and time, but the Holy Spirit was an ever-immanent common face that permeated all, yet had no form itself, for it was the commonality of shared values between the Father and Son, the linking force of Creation. This triune Godhead is what is sometimes called the Trinity, and its doctrine is reflected across many different religions and cultures. We have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but there is also Brahma the creator, Siva the changer, and Vishnu the sustainer in Hinduism, as just one parallel example.
     There are certain patterns in Genesis that reveal deeper meanings. Within the first creation story of Genesis is a certain pattern, corresponding to the 10 numbers and the 22 Hebrew letters, creating a network of 32 pathways. Incidentally, the number of nervous pathways branching from the human spine in pairs is 31, with a 32nd in the brain complex itself, comprised itself of 10 primary pathways. When it is said that mankind is made in the image of Elohim, many deep things are intended. That is why scripture is so rich with meaning.
     The 10 numbers correspond to sayings of God, called Sefirot by Kabbalists. Each one of those sayings is a direct act of creation that God made by speaking a Word of Creation. In the beginning, God. This is the first Sefirot, God the Father, Himself a “word” or vibratory emanation of the infinite divine substance. Next, God said “let there be light,” that is, YHVH, Jehovah, the second sefirot. The son. Then God said, let there be a firmament. The third sefirot, the Holy Spirit, the common face of God and his Son, through which all their interactions, the interactions of the light of the son and the love of the father would play across the cosmos. The immanent divine in all creation. God said, let the waters be gathered, the fourth sefirot. This is the forming of initial shapes, as gases across the cosmos began to coalesce, and the Earth was made. God saw the dry land, that is to say, the matter of rocky, earthy planets, and saw that it was good. He said, let the Earth be vegetated, the fifth sefirot, the creation of Life. Note that this is across the great Cosmos, and is a process of the grouping of long carbon chains in to complex acids which then begin to self-replicate. This began before the Earth was fully formed. The seeds of life are present throughout the Universe.
     Next, God said “Let there be lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.” Here is where we see the beginning of the formation and creation of our own Solar System, that we have come to know and love. Life already existed, and the form of the Earth already existed within God’s mind. The patterns and frameworks were in place through the Cosmos, but now these luminaries were put in to place, these lights so that a particular incubator would be created. A garden. Eden, the Earth. And God said, “Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life,” forming the seventh Sefirot, the beginning of Life as we recognize it on Earth, which is the life that began within the Oceans and Seas of our wonderful world. God said, “Let the Earth bring forth animals” and this was the eighth sefirot, where life begins upon the land itself. Next, God said, “let us make Man” which is the ninth sefirot.
     In the form of God, that is the form of Elohim, He created them. God created the first Man out of the great infinity, as a holographic divine Child of the Cosmos, a reflection of God’s great love and light. And then God put in to place the last, sealing sefirot of the great Tree of Life when he said: “Be fruitful, and multiply!” This was the final great act of creation, through which we, mankind and life itself, would go forth and fill the cosmos with His love and light, with family and fellowship, with laughter and creativity.
     This is the nature of the great creation of God as given to us in Genesis. This is the structure of the Tree of Life, with its roots in the infinitely small and its branches in the infinitely large. This is the structure of our own being, created by God our Heavenly Father at the foundation of the Cosmos. His vast intelligence, wisdom, and love blesses us immensely. We are his spirit children, come upon the Earth to learn and to grow, to bear fruit unto Him and unto eachother, for the shared sustenance of all beings in the Cosmos. I leave these words with you in the love and the light of God. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Redeemer, our great Sustaining Master. Amen.

    Over this past year, I have made much progress in my spiritual and emotional life. One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with is my relationship to my father, who passed away in April of 2015. I was very angry when he passed away. So angry that soon after picking my older sister and mother up from the airport in Portland, Oregon, I kicked them out of the car on the side of the freeway. My emotions were so confused and tangled then, and they balled up tighter and tighter inside of me, forming a knot deep within my soul.

    My father was a difficult man to know. He worked on many top secret government projects for the US military as an engineer contractor through Lockheed Martin and BAE systems, among others, as well as being a hardware director at 3Com when the first Palm Pilot PDAs were developed, precursors to the modern smartphone to which we have all become so willingly or unwillingly attached. He was a brilliant man, truly, but one who had a troubled emotional life and a hard way of expressing his emotions. This often manifested in cruelty to those closest to him in one of the strange paradoxes of human relationship that I have seen mirrored across many other’s relationships to dear loved ones.

    I both loved and hated my father. He was both a good man and a bad man, sometimes both at the same time, sometimes alternating between one and the other. I, and many others in my family, had a difficult relationship with him. In the last years of his life I was perhaps the closest to him out of anyone on the Earth, because he was a banjo player and I had inherited my love of bluegrass music from his influence. He ended his life as a profoundly lonely man, living alone in Vancouver, Washington. He passed away one day and it took a week for anyone to notice that something was wrong, when he wouldn’t answer any phone calls or texts or emails.

    I was working very hard as a truck driver in those days. I would be on the road for 14 to 16 hours a day, moving mail from the main postal office near the Reno, Nevada airport up to the towns around Alturas, in Modoc county California, which involved around 200 miles of driving in each direction every single day to complete the route. It was during that time that my father passed away. I had been asking for time off work for weeks on end, and was told “just another week, we need you this week; you can go next week, I promise!” until finally the news came that my father was no longer alive in this world.

    I was filled with an anger beyond description. Not at anyone or anything in particular, but just a sense of immense frustration with the world and with my inability to relate to my father when he was alive and my inability to comfort him in his last moments. I then drove up to Vancouver to meet my older sister Emma and my mother Dawna to handle his affairs and settle things.

    Over the few years since his death, I have had a difficult time wrestling with these emotions. They formed a deep, dark, violent ball of negative energy within my gut. I repressed them and compressed them down with the help of drugs and alcohol so that I wouldn’t have to feel the pain that seemed to have no release. This is not an uncommon story, and I have seen reflections of similar tales in the faces of many people I have met in this world. I feel that this story has benefited me greatly in my music and my art so that I may be able to create something that will touch the lives of others that I meet.

    It was only in this past year, as I came unto the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that this knot finally began to unwind. I began to understand the suffering and atonement of Jesus Christ as he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane and suffered on the cross on Calvary hill. I understood the divine love of God for all of us, His spirit children upon the Earth, and the importance of this Earthly academy which we have come to live in to learn and grow and become greater and more whole beings. In the book of Genesis it is said that God created us in His image, and each day as we strive through difficult trials and tests we are able to become more and more like him, improving ourselves day by day to adopt the pure love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ our Lord who died and was resurrected so as to cure our sufferings and give us the remission of our sins.

    I was baptized in the Reno, Nevada Temple as a surrogate for my father, so that he might have a remission of his sins in the world after this world. I did not think he would accept this blessing, and as I prayed and meditated, for a long time it seemed as though he hadn’t. He was still struggling in the afterlife, faced with the hellish images of the suffering that had been inflicted on him and the suffering that he had inflicted on others in return. Over time, though, it seems progress was made.

    A few nights ago, as I went to pray, I prayed to be made an instrument in God’s hand unto the salvation of my brothers and sisters here upon the Earth. I prayed that He would make me a tool for the liberation of my fellow beings from suffering. As I prayed, I felt an immense weight pressing down on me. Deep within my core, a knot began to slip and loosen. Tears flowed down my face as this knot unwound, and images flooded my mind showing me many memories that I had forgotten or repressed of my father. These things were released, then, I was told by a quiet, solemn voice, because my father, Earle Thomas White, had finally accepted the gift of the atonement of Jesus Christ on the other side of the veil of death. Through my work in the Temple, my father had found a remission of his sins, and all the negativity he had left in this world was now being retracted through the power of his repentance, and being replaced with the pure love of God and the pure light of Jesus Christ.

    My father was not always the best man, but still he was a good man. I love him with all my heart. All the negative feelings I have ever had that had been knotted up inside of me for so long had finally come unwound, and this through the power and atonement of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

    As we come upon this Christmas season, I say unto you who reads this, that our Savior Jesus Christ lives. Our Heavenly Father lives. He loves us. This world was created as a place for us to learn and to grow and to love and have joy. Let all beings seek their salvation and work out their salvation with penitent hearts, coming unto Christ and their Heavenly Father with a contrite spirit and seeking the healing that has always been available to them, if they but had the faith to ask for it.

    Christ told us in Matthew 7:7-8: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

    I know that this is true. I know that this power of atonement has been gifted to all of us here upon the Earth, if we but open our eyes and look to Heaven for the blessing of Christ and our Heavenly Father. If you seek it, pray unto him and ask for the healing of your afflictions, and in your faith it will be given unto you. I testify of this in the name of the Son of God, which is the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.